In my 80s

July 30, 2020

A neighbor and I complain about our city’s newspaper, The Indianapolis Star. We say we don’t get much out of it. We both turn more and more to electronic sources for news. Yet we both continue to buy The Star, paying somewhere around $2 per day. 

Newspapers across the country are fighting for survival inasmuch as advertisers find opportunities galore on the internet where a rising percentage of the populous hangs out. Many once-important dailies may not survive the decade of the twenties.

The Star has made many changes in the past twenty years, most of them related to cost-cutting. Simultaneously subscription prices have increased, home delivery service has deteriated.

The current content of The Star deserves a content analysis. Here is my rough guess what such a study would reveal. I am using the Thursday morning issue as my guide, the largest issue apart from Sunday.

33% advertising: display ads,

15% sports: mainly local

12% entertainment: comics, horoscope, cartoons, columns

09% Indianapolis news: a high percentage police blotter

08% Indiana news: principally surrounding cities and counties

07% viewpoints: staff and guest columns, letters to editor

06% national: gleaned from USA Today network              

05% international: gleaned from USA Today network

05% miscellaneous

By far my own attention to news is directed to New York Times, Washington Post, Politico, Atlantic, Google Chrome and smatterings here and there. I have reason, however, to wonder whether I am well-informed.

In my 80s

July 29, 2020

Ten questions for the day

  • 150,000 have died here in USA from the corona virus; how many more before a vaccine is available?
  • Can the federal government, and specifically the white house, rely on the Center for Disease Control for its counsel rather than on unqualified sources?
  • In several weeks from now will schools be able to open safely?
  • Where does the buck stop in virus-related rules — the president of the country? governors of states? mayors of cities? township supervisors?
  • How can a fair election be assured?
  • What measures might be taken to reduce the unequal infection rates related to race, economic level and residence location.
  • Which lines of business are realizing the greatest losses? Will these consequences be permanent? Ditto non-profit organizations?
  • What might help our country renew its good relations with China?
  • How will our current way-of-life affect permanently our social and economic affairs?
  • How can senior centers be made safer?

In my 80s

July 28, 2020

Five days since I scribbled my most recent blog. Five more days of being part of a world-wide population in a pandemic, five more days of sensing the enormous difference between our circumstances and the trauma of those thousands, those millions of people infected by the virus or living in proximity with those infected, or having lost a companion, neighbor or friend to the virus.

What should I say? “Thank God?” But no, that’s gratitude for divine preference. “How lucky?” But no, luck is not the determiner of the science of this virus, nor is it the guide for all the individual and social circumstances that happen to coincide with the virus.

Here, on this side, seemingly at a distance from the infection

I walk early mornings …

a garden surrounds our house….

above us is a spacious sky…

and around us love and shelter and a seemingly vast remove from virus trauma.

But then I read Dr. Fauci’s prediction today that Indiana where 2,924 people have already died of the virus, is showing signs of impending danger. I was going to visit a friend tomorrow afternoon. He texted to say that someone in his family is running a high fever; I should not come.

It feels like those pictures of shore-line people curiously watching an incoming Tsunami … and then the vast wall of water sweeping away docks and walls and even those vantages where people has curiously watched.

This can be said: I am in awe.

In my 80s

July 23, 2020

Tonight a heaviness, an edge of fear, sorrow, hopelessness.

  1. record-setting COVID infections
  2. racism
  3. joblessness and poverty
  4. police brutality / prison and detention / unfairness
  5. Trump  and Washington
  6. climate change
  7. social isolation, masks, social distancing
  8. autumn school plans
  9. US-China relations
  10. and in general things falling apart

And then a friends sends me this.

In my 80s

July 21, 2020

Today, all this.

read the Star, Politico, and a couple other news outlets … walked a three-miler during which I saw 26 other walkers, 14 dogs, 2 cats and one very old stump … heard about James selling his house … cut the grass … chatted six feet from Roger … pruned the tomato plants and rearranged the squirrel-proof netting … prepared the lunch salad … mixed compost … emptied the water barrel in anticipation of rain … explained to Shirley why the contractor wouldn’t repair her broken step … edited twenty pages of “These are our people” … read several chapter of Mary Trump’s book … listened to PBS … pulled some weeds … received e-mails from Ben and from Adrian … took a nap … received a check from a BP class action suit … got warned for the twenty sixth time that my AT&T account will be closed unless I push said button … scratched mosquito bites …took several photos, sending one to Facebook and Instagram … waved to Courtney … gave netting to Michelle and Chris … enjoyed reading a recipe for Menno Cocktail … checked on Indiana’s Covid report for yesterday (20 more deaths)… took a shower … and came out on the porch to listen to thunder.

In my 80s

July 20, 2020

RICHARD BLANCO was selected by President Obama as the fifth inaugural poet in U.S. history; he is the youngest and the first Latino, immigrant, and gay person to serve in such a role. Born in Madrid to Cuban exile parents and raised in Miami, he is the author of memoirs and many collections of poetry, including his most recent, How to Love a Country.

Here is a poem, first printed in Atlantic magazine.

… say we live on, say we’ll forget the masks
that kept us from dying from the invisible,
but say we won’t ever forget the invisible
masks we realized we had been wearing
most our lives, disguising ourselves from
each other. Say we won’t veil ourselves again,
that our souls will keep breathing timelessly,
that we won’t return to clocking our lives
with lists and appointments. Say we’ll keep
our days errant as sun showers, impulsive
as a star’s falling. Say this isn’t our end …

… say I’ll get to be as thrilled as a boy spinning
again in my barber’s chair, tell him how
I’d missed his winged scissors chirping
away my shaggy hair eclipsing my eyes,
his warm clouds of foam, the sharp love
of his razor’s tender strokes on my beard.
Say I’ll get more chances to say more than
thanks, Shirley at the checkout line, praise
her turquoise jewelry, her son in photos
taped to her register, dare to ask about
her throat cancer. Say this isn’t her end …

… say my mother’s cloudy eyes won’t die
from the goodbye kiss I last gave her, say
that wasn’t our final goodbye, nor will we
be stranded behind a quarantine window
trying to see our refracted faces beyond
the glare, read our lips, press the warmth
of our palms to the cold glass. Say I won’t
be kept from her bedside to listen to her
last words, that we’ll have years to speak
of the decades of our unspoken love that
separated us. Say this isn’t how we’ll end …

… say all the restaurant chairs will get back
on their feet, that we’ll all sit for another
lifetime of savoring all we had never fully
savored: the server as poet reciting flavors
not on the menu, the candlelight flicker
as appetizer, friends’ spicy gossip and rich,
saucy laughter, sharing entrées of memories
no longer six feet apart, our beloved’s lips
as velvety as the wine, the dessert served
sweet in their eyes. Say this is no one’s end …

… say my husband and I will keep on honing
our home cooking together, find new recipes
for love in the kitchen: our kisses and tears
while dicing onions, eggs cracking in tune
to Aretha’s croon, dancing as we heat up
the oven. Say we’ll never stop feasting on
the taste of our stories, sweet or sour, but
say our table will never be set for just one,
say neither of us dies, many more Cheers!
to our good health. Say we will never end …

… say we’ll all still take the time we once
needed to walk alone and gently through
our neighborhoods, keep noticing the Zen
of anthills and sidewalk cracks blossoming
weeds, of yappy dogs and silent swing sets
rusting in backyards, of neat hedges hiding
mansions and scruffy lawns of boarded-up
homes. Say we won’t forget our seeing
that every kind of life is a life worth living,
worth saving. Say this is nobody’s end …

… or say this will be my end, say the loving
hands of gloved, gowned angels risking
their lives to save mine won’t be able to
keep me here. Say this is the last breath
of my last poem, will of my last thoughts:
I’ve witnessed massive swarms of fireflies
grace my garden like never before, drawn
to the air cleansed of our arrogant greed,
their glow a flashback to the time before
us, omen of Earth without us, a reminder
we’re never immune to nature. I say this
might be the end we’ve always needed
to begin again. I say this may be the end
to let us hope to heal, to evolve, reach
the stars. Again I’ll say: heal, evolve, reach
and become the stars that became us—
whether or not this is or is not our end.

In my 80s

July 16, 2020

A Covid comment

If photos tell the entire story, the populace of Japan and South Korea wears masks. That is, everyone.

I have visited four local places in the past five months and here is the mask report:

——doctor’s office: everyone wearing a mask

——hardware store: masks required at the door (one man maskless was irate when told he couldn’t enter: “I’m so tired of this shit!”

——CVS pharmacy: all staff had masks, half of customers wore masks

——Marathon gas station: I was the only one wearing a mask, including the station attendant.

On the street I see few masks. Why the difference between United States and the two countries cited?

Possibility One: Those countries are communal in orientation, we are individualistic.

Possibility Two: Those countries are verbally and socially cooperative. We hear sentiments such as

*don’t tread on me

*my way or the highway

*not in my back yard

*you and a company such as you won’t make me do it

*haven’t you read our Constitution lately?

*so I wear a mask. What will you demand next?

*my freedom happens not to be your business

In my 80s

July 15, 2020

What ten sentences might define today in my world.

  1. Started walking at 6:30.

2. Next-door-neighbor Shirley celebrated her 94th birthday

3. Neighbor Michele happily took the black-eyed susans that were crowding the garden.

4. Anticipating the tuck pointer who will be here Friday, I hosed down the bricks on house and porch.

5. Found a humongous cucumber that Joy somehow missed.

6. Printed out the second to final copy of “These are our people.”

7. After pushing backer rod into the gap between the bedroom window and the brick wall, I covered the rod (and some bricks) with caulk.

8. Because of a strong chance for rain tonight, I gave the garden quite a bit of water from the barrels.

9. Evie Yoder Miller’s Shadows enlarges my understanding of the Civil War.

10. Joy mixed a delicious, invigorating G and T.

In my 80s

July 14, 2020

A Covid note.

These days we hear statistical reports — 130 deaths in Florida today, 30 thousand more people infected, etc., etc. The stats can stun us even as they can lead to a paralysis in our feeling. That’s too bad.

Today I read this from the van Trump farm report (not related to President Trump:

 Nearly 5.4 Million Americans Lost Health Insurance: A new analysis from Families U.S.A. shows the coronavirus pandemic stripped an estimated 5.4 million Americans of their health insurance between February and May, a stretch in which more adults became uninsured because of job losses than have ever lost coverage in a single year. The report from the nonpartisan consumer advocacy group found that the estimated increase in uninsured laid-off workers over the three-month period was nearly 40 percent higher than the highest previous increase, which occurred during the recession of 2008 and 2009. In that period, 3.9 million adults lost insurance. The study is a state-by-state examination of the effects of the pandemic on laid-off adults younger than 65, the age at which Americans become eligible for Medicare. It found that nearly half — 46 percent — of the coverage losses from the pandemic came in five states: California, Texas, Florida, New York, and North Carolina. In Texas alone, the number of uninsured jumped from about 4.2 million to nearly 4.9 million, the research found, leaving three out of every 10 Texans uninsured.

The number 5,400,000 is so big that it lacks specificity. Imagine one family, just one, now having no health insurance. Let’s imagine that the family includes mother and father along with three children who now have no health insurance in the event of accident, disease, and the more or less typical illnesses. No health insurance. No insurance for big hospital bills, no insurance for ocular, dental, hearing appointments, no insurance for pricy prescriptions.

When I think of the individual human traumas resulting from this loss of medical insurance, my thoughts and feelings dive.